Bionic Woman , Pre-Tune-Up
This is Rachel, my girlfriend. She's beautiful, sweet, loving, and endlessly patient with my constant mood swings. She's also sort of bionic.
When she was a little girl, she started developing scoliosis pretty badly. Doctors eventually opened her back right up and fused two titanium rods to her increasingly unruly spine.
"That oughta teach it a thing or two," everyone thought. Rachel healed up, and life proceeded normally, with flawless posture.
Now, though, there are some new problems. See that bump right beside the scar there? That's not her shoulder blade -- that's the ends of her titanium rods, bending away from the spine and sticking out. It's causing some problems. Her back is sore, there's some numbness.
Tomorrow afternoon, Rachel's going under the knife again. This time the surgeons are going to go in and saw off the ends of those rods, get 'em to lay down a little bit. For some reason I envision her doctor using bolt cutters, those big clippers people use in the city to steal bikes. I doubt those are in the toolbox, though.
They say it's no big deal, she's only going to be in the hospital for two days and will be up and around in a week. If you ask me, two days is an eternity in an age when heart attack victims are all but shoved out the door in a shopping cart after their surgery.
I know this is no big deal, and that everything's going to be just fine. But man, I'm worried all the same. Say a little prayer for us, please?