Monday, December 04, 2006

Nobody Hits My Sister, Not Even ME

Some fuckwad punched my little sister in the face.

Broken Face

I was sitting here trying to put this brilliant and disjointed post together when I saw the number jump in my inbox ... and as any writer knows, new e-mail is an even better reason not to write than a dirty apartment or disorganized bookshelf.

It was just the photo you see above, sent from my little sister's Treo.

She was out at the bar with a friend the other night, just waiting on the valet to bring the car around when a couple rowdy drunk guys came up and pulled some serious space invasion, laughing and shoving and stepping on her friends' toes on an otherwise uncrowded sidewalk.

Her friend asked the guys to move along, and they declined. He asked again, and one of the drunks just started swinging at him. My sister tried to break it up and got cold-cocked right there on the lips and chin, splitting her lip and possibly chipping a tooth.

Takes a bad motherfucker to punch a girl right in the face, doesn't it?

She dropped to the sidewalk immediately and the guys took off. Once her friend saw the blood pouring from my only, beloved sister's lips, he caught the puncher and paid him back in spades, right in front of a shocked dinner crowd at a packed restaurant. Bouncers tried to break it up, took one look at my sister's face and figured it out -- they let her friend continue uninterrupted until the cops came.

She is pressing charges.

My sister's tough. Real tough. She can handle this.

I remember her consoling me through my first teenage breakup, hugging me until the sobs stopped and drying my eyes with a Kleenex. In the quiet that comes after a big cry, she looked me lovingly in the eye and said "Jeffrey, I just want you to know that I always hated that bitch. And if you want, I'll go around to her place with a dog chain and set shit straight, you just say the word."

Now she says to me with soft, puffy syllables, "Damn, man. All that shit I pulled in high school, and NOW's the first time a motherfucker clocks me in the grill."

Apart from some split lips and a bruised face, she's fine. The guy's face looks a LOT worse than hers now, and the law is on it.

But if all this is in motion, why am I not satisfied? Why do I want mob connections and handguns? I want a Louisville Slugger and a stolen car, a length of hemp rope and an open road. I want to drag this guy out of his bed by his hair and make him beg for something I can't give him.

Instead I'll go to bed.

We'll all wake up in the morning, and go to our respective jobs and the wheels of justice will turn or not, and nobody will get hurt any more than they already are and everything's going to be fine. That's what I hope, anyway.

I think.

9 Comments:

At 7:20 AM, Blogger E :) said...

I'm glad your sister didn't have worse injuries and that she heals quickly. I hope the asshole who hit her gets the book thrown at him. What a cuntscrape of the highest order. (Only an Aussie could come up with that one!)

I can totally understand your sentiment Jeff. Even I want to seek revenge on that freak.

 
At 9:49 AM, Blogger Lonnie Bruner said...

"A Louisville Slugger and a stolen car, a length of hemp rope and an open road..."

Awesome.

 
At 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are too many crazy people in this world, and stuff like this just reminds me that it's not safe for women!

I'm glad that she's recovering okay.

 
At 10:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks Jeff. I hope that dude had to be at work today at 8:15, facilitate a conf. call and then excuse himself so the entire office was not in their business askin why they looked jacked up. Anyway, that was my day then I headed to Dr. so she could have a look. Verdict is I will prob have a discolored scared lip that may be larger than the other side. Good news is if I ever head to the needle for Botox I can save some loot...only will have to cover half my smile the other side might be good. Ahhh, let me get back to sipping my dinner milkshake through a straw and leave you with this comforting thought...if the law does not handle it I can easily step back in time and go REAL ghetto on that ass with a group of peeps! Love you

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

Even if she's tough, it could not have been a pleasant experience for her. I'm so sorry! People are such shitheads when they drink.

 
At 9:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey man, i've heard a rumor in that up in brooklyn i have some family in the jewish mafia. i'm not sure if this is true or not, but if it is you're welcome to their services.

if someone ever punched my little sister i'd beat the crap out of them.

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Celeste said...

having been hit myself in the past,,,, I sure wish I had a bro like you!

She needs to carry a chain or a peacemaker for if it should ever happen again.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Dan said...

Now there's a motherfucker who deserves a potato peeler across his nipples before being bathed in vinegar.

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I you step in between two blokes who are fighting, those are the consequences. Do you curse the driver/car who hits a jaywalker?

 

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