I'd Whup My Clone

My friend Alysse is a middle-school ESL teacher and debate coach. She sent me the following letter:
_________
Today's topic was "Resolved: That human cloning should be permitted in the U.S." Um, I wish I had had a tape recorder, for it was the most hilarious discussion I've ever heard.

Highlights of the Affirmative Case (direct quotations--I fished their notes out of the trash after they left):

*
If someone is super, super lonely they can have a friend to do stuff with.
*
You could learn stuff from the past, like clone George Washington and ask him stuff.
*
Clones could go to school for you.
*
If it's someone's decision to clone themselves, it's no one else's decision to judge.
*
You could make clones do the jobs no one wants to, like deep underwater diving.

Highlights of the Negative Case

* Clones could turn into evil twins and come kill you.
* The Sniper might clone himself. *
* Japan might steal the machines and start cloning an army. **
* Some dead people might not want to be cloned. ***

*remember the sniper? he was a big deal around here; schools closed for 3 or 4 days

**I think they must be studying WWII

***but the Affirmative had a good solution for this: after you clone them, ask them if they want to be cloned, and if they don't, kill them

P.S.

Whenever the subject of cloning is raised, I am reminded of a discussion in a class I took at UNCG. They had just announced the success of "Dolly," so my prof raised the topic of human cloning. I sat in the back, near this guy who never said much and wore a baseball cap pulled low so you didn't really even know what he looked like. He did not raise his hand to contribute his opinion, but I heard him say--not loudly, but quite firmly, "I'd whup my clone."

posted by Jeff Simmermon @ 4:17 PM