Saturday, February 04, 2006

I'd Whup My Clone

Originally uploaded by Seguace.
My friend Alysse is a middle-school ESL teacher and debate coach. She sent me the following letter:
Today's topic was "Resolved: That human cloning should be permitted in the U.S." Um, I wish I had had a tape recorder, for it was the most hilarious discussion I've ever heard.

Highlights of the Affirmative Case (direct quotations--I fished their notes out of the trash after they left):

If someone is super, super lonely they can have a friend to do stuff with.
You could learn stuff from the past, like clone George Washington and ask him stuff.
Clones could go to school for you.
If it's someone's decision to clone themselves, it's no one else's decision to judge.
You could make clones do the jobs no one wants to, like deep underwater diving.

Highlights of the Negative Case

* Clones could turn into evil twins and come kill you.
* The Sniper might clone himself. *
* Japan might steal the machines and start cloning an army. **
* Some dead people might not want to be cloned. ***

*remember the sniper? he was a big deal around here; schools closed for 3 or 4 days

**I think they must be studying WWII

***but the Affirmative had a good solution for this: after you clone them, ask them if they want to be cloned, and if they don't, kill them


Whenever the subject of cloning is raised, I am reminded of a discussion in a class I took at UNCG. They had just announced the success of "Dolly," so my prof raised the topic of human cloning. I sat in the back, near this guy who never said much and wore a baseball cap pulled low so you didn't really even know what he looked like. He did not raise his hand to contribute his opinion, but I heard him say--not loudly, but quite firmly, "I'd whup my clone."


At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Alysse said...

Even though technically I realize I am your friend, it's a nice feeling to read the phrase, "My friend Alysse" in writing.


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