Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Dammit Dammit CRAP


This is KILLING me.

I'm sitting on a powder keg of material, and all it would take to set it off is one blog post. The photos are some of the best work I've done in years and the writing wrote itself in a bolt of lightning delivered to my frontal lobe while I was on the can the other night. It's cosmic and effervescent, glorious and life-affirming, while also being about drag queens.

And I can't post a pixel of it.

Did I mention this was killing me?

Dammit, Dammit, CRAP

I'm obligated, personally and professionally, to keep a tight lid on this experience. Tearing the roof off this mothersucker like I was born to do would severely strain one of my best friendships -- by severely straining several of one of my best friend's best friendships. Unfortunately, the greedy green dragon that is my ego is going to have to lick the corners out of his cage for oh, FOREVER until something else this awesome comes along.

Although, if he's hungry, he might try nibbling away at my flair for the dramatic. There's certainly enough of that to go around.

But do you ever get that? Where something would make such a GREAT post but, you know, your crummy conscience gets in the way?

I'm not talking to the army of two-bit Carrie Bradshaws that clots the DC blogosphere, either. You know who you are -- you vicious bitches will stop at nothing for eyeballs, and god help the guys that actually like you. But the rest of you -- the ones with souls -- do you get this, too? Where your friends or your family have pulled something CLASSIC, or you've been a party to something MINDBLOWING and your sense of decency gets in the way?

Here come the questions:

Is this what stops people from becoming successful? Is it possible to achieve mega-success without trampling a few friendships along the way? And is that success worth it -- or do you think it is from where you sit now?

Because every great post -- not the ones you toss off before bed, like this one, but the ones you pour love, lust and sweat into -- those get me closer. Closer to what I want to be and how I want to live all the time. And it hurts to give that a pass.

But then I think about the other me, the one that will hopefully be subsumed into the cosmos' benevolent energy field after I die. The guy the stars have never read, the man that has never made the Milky Way chuckle with a well-turned phrase. And then I think : Is writing this going to enrich the cosmos? Will I fit as perfectly into the universe's vibrational field when that times comes if I disrespect my friend's wishes?

That's not a rhetorical question. What's your answer?


At 1:14 AM, Blogger Big Head Rob said...

Dude, we'd just post it.

At 2:26 AM, Blogger Lonnie Bruner said...


I know what you mean, but here's what you should do: email it to me and I'll post it on my blog.


At 9:12 AM, Blogger Reya Mellicker said...

Having a conscience is a good thing. Thinking about what to post, and what not to post, is excellent. Since people who blog are not governed by any set of rules, not censored in any way, the responsbility to be thoughtful lies completely with us. We're creating our own set of ethics, which means we have to think.

There are a million great posts out there. Why post something that will be hurtful? Move on, choose another great topic. Your blog is great, you don't have to be an ass.

At 10:21 AM, Blogger Hammer said...

If nothing else, this post gave us the following wonderful line:

I'm not talking to the army of two-bit Carrie Bradshaws that clots the DC blogosphere, either. You know who you are -- you vicious bitches will stop at nothing for eyeballs, and god help the guys that actually like you.

I tend to agree with Reya, unless the subject of the post really has it coming. From the sound of it, that's not the situation here.

At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Sweet said...

You're saying this post is just something you just tossed up? I'm actually thinking it's one of my favorites. You've hit on something that many of us can identify with, and I think looking out for your friends over your personal interest/gain is a good thing and says a lot about you.

Not really along those lines but ... I videoed my mom driving and (trying to) dance to rap music over the weekend. It's hilarious, and would provide folks with a good chuckle. But would I post it? Never. Some people in your life you just need to protect.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Velvet said...

That's funny, I take direct insult at the whole Carrie Bradshaw comment thing. Though...I was never a fan of that show and don't consider myself as such. But apparently you do.

At 12:33 PM, Blogger ejtakeslife said...

Chiming in to concur: if I feel a twinge about blogging a particular story, I ask myself two questions: One, is the story mine to tell? That is, did I play a significant enough part in it that I feel justified writing up my experience and that my side will be complete enough for a reader? Two, if not, did the subject forfeit his or her right to privacy by intentionally being so big a jerk/fool/uninformed yet certain of their righteousness that I no longer feel obligated to protect the story?

If the last answer is also "no," move on. There are too many good stories to tell. Don't dwell on the ones that will compromise you.

And, um, yeowch with the "two-bit Carrie Bradshaws."
You want to piss a blogger off, compare her to a Sex and the City character and ask if she wants a Cosmopolitan.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Rothko said...

Damn. I'm always late to these commenting parties. I'd say two things: 1) It's just a blog post. People read them one day and forget them the next. In my mind, it doesn't seem important enough to ruin a friendship over. 2) There are probably ways to write about it without offending anybody. Authors do it all the time. Might take some time to feel it out, proccess it, and turn it into something like that. Which sucks because blogging is typically about 'immediacy.'

Good topic.

At 7:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

post it. post it now! life's too short.

At 11:10 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

DON'T post it, but DO tell it to me next time we meet. I think that's a compromise we can all live with.

At 5:22 PM, Anonymous Ron, the co-worker said...

I was there. He can't post it. He's too close to the story and nothing to be gained from writing about it would offset the people-price he'd have to pay in writing about it.

'Nuff said, I need to avoid my usual punny posting style so as to keep it all under wraps.

At 11:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It would be fun if you write a story with cryptic random clues, except none of them have anything to do with the real story, and your readers could try to guess what you're referring to..."Who put the artichoke in the humidor? It has turned into a rutabaga..if you know what I mean ....hahaHAHA!!!!"


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