Thursday, November 04, 2004

The Civil War On Intelligence

Screw the war on terrorism--there is a war on intelligence happening in America, and intelligence is losing. An army of idiots has just planted a flag made out of report cards peppered with C's and D-minuses in the middle of America. Ground troops from the legion of boo-boos turned out in record numbers to perform the greatest act of domestic terrorism since Timothy McVeigh's performance in Oklahoma City.

There is a war on intelligent, rational thought in this country and stupid people are winning. When did thinking things through become anti-patriotic? If you look back at high school, reading was never something for the popular kids, but this is real life, and we're all supposed to be grownups. Americans justify their own willful ignorance by saying that the media distorts things and you never get the real story.

But since when did no story become a better alternative to a slanted one? Everyone distorts stories. There is no objective truth. We filter our experiences through our past and our prejudices, and until Bill Gates invents a legion of news-reporting androids, we're going to have to put up with human distortion.

Think about this: if you ask fundamentalist Christians (brownshirts in the legion of boo-boos), everything on TV and mainstream media is lies...but words written several thousand years ago by Jews and middle-easterners (serious bad guys to the religious right) are absolute fact.

Here's what Americans can do to win the war against intelligence, and this is by no means a complete list:

1) Read something challenging every one article that you disagree with daily, and think about it.

2) Don't just read the headlines. Read the whole news story. Is there something in there that disturbs you? Does something seem left out? Check the same story in another source. It takes ten minutes, thirty if you have to move your lips. Don't give up. Soon you'll be able to read and eat something without crumbs falling out of your mouth.

3) Admit it when you are wrong. This is hard, but crucial for any leader, whether you lead a family, nation, or just the line to recess. When you realize you have done something wrong, just apologize and fix it. Malcolm X's behavior after his visit to Mecca is the greatest example of this in the 20th century.

4) Stop grade inflation. Some of you readers are teachers, and you've got to stop this trend now. Don't give failing work passing grades. At present, legions of stupid people walk among us, invisible apart from the size of their cars. They think they're educated, and they sure do have diplomas...but they got that diploma without exercising their brains. It's worthless, and it makes yours more worthless too.

5)Think in tandem with your feelings...use the checks and balances in your own soul to make decisions. Don't just lash out because you're angry. Your feelings will never go away--you're a human being and thinking can't chase emotion away. Use your brain and your heart together.

Read Get Your War On This Morning...


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