If You Can't Take the Traffic, Stay in the 'Burbs
It was beautiful today, one of a handful of truly beautiful days in 2007. Me and my man Martin got on the bikes and ate up the trails, winding 30 miles or so out into suburban Virginia.
There's nothing like having the sun on your arms and the wind in your face for a workout. Being in the gym is okay and all, but it always makes me kind of feel like I'm on a space station somewhere.
The ride itself was pretty uneventful, apart from this completely typical incident on the Key Bridge on the way home. I was riding over the bridge, slowly, on the wide pedestrian/bike lane. I was going slow enough to avoid freaking people out, and calling out to people before I passed, letting them know what was going on.
Then, all of a sudden, this woman on the opposite side of the path(walking back towards Arlington) took a hard right and jumped right in front of me. I yelled out as I braked -- she jumped out of the way a split second before I would have plowed into her. She shouted "fuck you, man!"
"No, actually, fuck YOU," I said. "You jumped in front of me!"
"Well SLOW DOWN," she shouted, loud. "There ought to be a sign up that says 'no bikes allowed!'"
Really. I think one that says "Watch Where You're Going," might be a better idea, or, simply, "No Bitches."
At that point, some kid in those stupid shoes with wheels in the heels could have dusted me. Speed was not the issue. The real issue at hand was that because I was on a bike, I was in the wrong.
This interaction is completely typical for cyclists in D.C. I'm not sure how it is in other cities, but here, you can't win. If that woman were driving when I was riding in the road, she'd be mad at me too. Drivers honk and shout at you to get on the sidewalk, and it's not like it's friendly or safe up there either.
There's one solution that keeps D.C. cyclists and Sunday pedestrians both happy though: when cranks like that lady stay in the suburbs where they fucking belong.
Labels: cycling, cyclists, D.C., Georgetown, manners, pedestrians
Truck at 14th and Rhode Island: Space Is the Place
A lot of people think that D.C. is just grim, grey buildings full of conservative careerists with beige bland dreams. Those people are right.
Which is why I get so excited every morning when I pass this truck at 14th and Rhode Island:
Every time I see it I think "
Sun Ra is alive and well and living in a truck in Northwest D.C."
UpdateA commenter left a link on this post last night that unzipped the mystery of this truck into something weird and wonderful.
As it turns out, C. Kret is equal parts Sun Ra and Daniel Pinkwater. He may be the living incarnation of a Pinkwater character, a colorful extra from
The Snarkout Boys series. He's a
children's book author, illustrator, a rambling limerick-spouting poet. Like most other Northwest residents, C. Kret has a law degree ... but prefers to beautify the world instead. Here's a
self-conducted interview. From his website: Itzah C. Kret is also known as The Phantom Planter because he goes around planting flowers in public places. Since 1979 he guesses he's planted over 41,317 flowers in ten states and six foreign countries. In October, 2003, he planted 202 tulips, crocuses and windflowers right under the St. Louis Gateway Arch. On April 12, 2004, he struck in Buenos Aires, Argentina, planting dozens of Morning Glories in La Boca and in the park in front of the Casa Rosada. Last fall he checked out the Liberty Bell and decided to plant daffodils at the Brith Shalom nursing home in Philadelphia. In 2005 he planted over 20,000 morning glories in Bangalore, India. (He may have an obsessive compulsive floral disorder.)
C. Kret is an ambassador for
International Ice Cream for Breakfast Day, celebrated on the first Saturday of February. From the Ice Cream for Breakfast
FAQ:
Some people have been known to play a competitive card game called "Nuts" on Ice Cream for Breakfast Day. Often, the edge in such activities is had by the person who most adroitly combines a sugar high and caffeine buzz to their greatest advantage.
I've done a lot of wailing recently about wanting to
escape D.C. It's really encouraging to see someone who escapes it inside his mind, and may never have let it get to him in the first place.
Labels: 14th and Rhode Island, D.C., Itzah C. Kret, Sun Ra
